Socially Awkward?
Introverted, quiet and socially anxious? Does the thought of meeting new people make you want to run 100km? Would you rather stay at home than get ratchet at a social gathering? Welcome to the Awkward club. Population: you, me and probably some other spectacular beings. Here I’ll tell you some of the struggles of being socially awkward, ways to combat them and most importantly - why you should embrace the awkwardness within! (And to all you socially competent extroverts, get outtaaaaaa here…Haha, only joking, teach us your ways plz)
The challenges:
Where do I even begin?
- socialising with people: if it was possible to live successfully in isolation, us introverted people would be bouncing off the walls in a euphoric state of exuberance, but sadly, this isn’t the case… Simple things like saying what veggie burger you want from Grill’d (no mayo plz) or asking for a pen at uni (bonus points for a papermate pen) is literally traumatic. ‘How do I phrase these words?’ ‘At what point do I vocalise and say what order I want’ And don’t even get me started on meeting new people - an absolute nightmare.
- eye contact: when this happens, it’s an abomination to my cardiovascular system. I don’t care if you’re a man, woman, boy, girl, gnome don’t look at me. plz. I can’t explain why or how I get so hyped up about two eyeballs, but them eye contact feels are the worst. It’s like someone is staring into the depths of your soul and finding out your secrets. Forget Gretchen Wiener’s hair being full of secrets, it’s all in the eye balls mate.
- anxiety: eye contact, awkward silences, together with topics discussions, when to have the floor and speak etc lead to an increase in heart rate, racing thoughts and enough energy to run as fast as Usain Bolt. Your throat closes up and internally, you’re sent on a downward spiral of heightened emotion. WHAT.DO.I.SAY?!?! This awkward silence will be the death of me. PANIC PANIC AGRESSIVELY.
Where do I even begin?
- socialising with people: if it was possible to live successfully in isolation, us introverted people would be bouncing off the walls in a euphoric state of exuberance, but sadly, this isn’t the case… Simple things like saying what veggie burger you want from Grill’d (no mayo plz) or asking for a pen at uni (bonus points for a papermate pen) is literally traumatic. ‘How do I phrase these words?’ ‘At what point do I vocalise and say what order I want’ And don’t even get me started on meeting new people - an absolute nightmare.
- eye contact: when this happens, it’s an abomination to my cardiovascular system. I don’t care if you’re a man, woman, boy, girl, gnome don’t look at me. plz. I can’t explain why or how I get so hyped up about two eyeballs, but them eye contact feels are the worst. It’s like someone is staring into the depths of your soul and finding out your secrets. Forget Gretchen Wiener’s hair being full of secrets, it’s all in the eye balls mate.
- anxiety: eye contact, awkward silences, together with topics discussions, when to have the floor and speak etc lead to an increase in heart rate, racing thoughts and enough energy to run as fast as Usain Bolt. Your throat closes up and internally, you’re sent on a downward spiral of heightened emotion. WHAT.DO.I.SAY?!?! This awkward silence will be the death of me. PANIC PANIC AGRESSIVELY.
How to overcome the awkwardness during socialisation:
- mindfulness: I have previously spoken about mindfulness in an article here, but a way of carrying out mindfulness is whenever you’re having them negative socialising feelings, focus on you’re breathing (I focus on my tummy changing size as I inhale and exhale) and I also imagine the racing thoughts in my head as clouds passing in the sky.
- what’s the worst that could happen?: if you look at this holistically, one (or many) uncomfortable chats aren’t going to kill anyone! It might briefly kill your dignity but take these as learning experiences.
- people interact EVERYDAY: You can do it. If Ellen DeGeneres can speak to the whole world on a daily basis then I can interact with people! Do it mate, open your mouth and SOCIALISE.
- fake it: if things get intense, pretend you're an extroverted social butterfly whose social interaction game is strong. Convo topics? Pfft, I got billions in mah repertoire...
Embracing your awkwardness:
In a perfect world, it would be pretty epic if we could all be a social butterflies and tell people your Grill’d order without feeling like your heart has been engulfed in a black hole… But then again, awkwardness is a part of you… And heck, without awkwardness, you wouldn’t have awkward encounters which are hilarious to look back upon and perfect guides for what not to do in the future, awkward silences and eye contact which could save the world as they pretty much create enough intensity to provide energy efficient power and without awkwardness, there'd be no hipsters...There’s no point disliking your awkwardness as it’s a part of your personality. Why be normal when you can be awkwardly different? We awkward people dance better than the mainstream ‘cool kids’, our topics convos are unlike no other and who needs social gatherings when there’s Netflix. I rest my case.
Stay awkward you mighty fine introverts!
- Andrea x
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